Don’t Wait to Say It Til They’re Dead. . . (4 Funerals and a Wedding)

This past week I have seen 4 funerals of people that I know. Two of them are family members of church members and the other 2 are celebrities – Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.
One thing I notice about funerals is that friends and relatives would  honor their dead through eulogy which is a tribute to the person who passed away.
I was deeply touched by the stories and testimonies that friends and family shared about the deceased. Those were wonderful words of appreciation.

Eccl. 7:1 A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth.

Solomon said that death is better than birth because death is the summation of a person’s life. What will people say about us when we are finally lying down in our casket?  What would you like them to say about you? The words spoken are dependent on how you live your life NOW and how you will nurture the relationships that you have.

While I agree that words of honor should be said about a person when he is dead to summarize his life’s accomplishments and celebrate the relationships that he made. We need to take the time to honor our loved ones while they are still alive.  Let them hear how much we love and appreciate them.

Do not wait until they are dead before you say those beautiful speeches.

Say it while they can hear it.

In contrast, a wedding is an ocassion where the couple openly say what they feel for each other.

I like going to  weddings. It’s a celebration of a couple’s love for each other.

Tonight, I am officiating a renewal of vows ceremony for a couple in church. They have been married for 25 years.  They will be expressing their commitment to one another. And they will do it publicly before friends and family. They will say how much they love and appreciate each other and will make a promise that they will be faithful to the other until the very end.

Of course, words of affirmation should not just be said during the wedding ceremony but should be a regular part of the married life.

1Th. 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

The King of Pop meets the King of Kings

I was checking my facebook yesterday when I saw many of the status notifications say that MJ is dead. I asked myself, who’s MJ? Michael Jordan? Magic Johnson? Mick Jagger? Then I turned on CNN and saw the breaking news. It was Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson died at 50. He was supposed to start what he termed as “The Last Curtain Call”- a 50 day concert tour. He accomplished a lot in terms of being a “genius” of an artist. Received numerous awards and accolades. He re-invented pop music and funk. Thus, getting the title King of Pop.

But the sudden death of MJ has sent a lot of tremors in the entertainment/ music industry around the world. Millions of fans are grieving because of the demise of their idol. As the different TV networks are giving their tribute to the king, you would realize how much he shaped the music world in the last 5 decades. But there were also negative things that were said about him. On June 27, 2009, the final curtain did close on Michael Jackson. The King of Pop met the King of Kings.

I realized that no matter how famous or infamous you are, we ALL have ONE SHOT at life. Life is short. Our life on earth is limited. Our time is ticking away. Everyday, we are closer to our appointment with death.

Heb. 9:27 Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment,

The question is, “Are you living your life to make a positive impact in this generation?”.
Next question, “Are you ready to meet your Maker?”

Don’t be a fool. Live life to the full.

What’s the Difference Between School and Life?

I want to share something that Shirley wrote in her journal. I am publishing this article with her permission.

What’s the difference between school and life?

In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test.

In life, you’re given a test that teaches a lesson. – Tom Bodette

One of the most difficult lessons in life is how to accept loss. – Kerry & Chris Shook

Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.

We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy. – Tim Hansel

These are just some of the sayings that I read and found true in my life.  And with these I would like to add the top 2 lessons I have learned so far in life:

1.  We can take on anything that happens in life as long as we are in unity.

Unity does not come easy.  In marriage, we need to constantly fight for it.  We strive to live by it.  We nurture it.  And we guard it.  Aside from passion and purpose, peace is a fuel that keep us going where God has destined us as a family.

There are millions of reasons and ways to ruin unity;  misunderstandings, miscommunications, misconceptions.  Not to mention the difficulties and challenges all married couples face as they go through life.  These will either make or break a relationship. These hard truths are capable of strengthening or destroying marriages.

And the sad fact is, much of those turn relationships sour, bitter and many a time, utter cold that lead to seperation. Choose to be in unity in the midst of trials.  This is our weapon.  Our husband or wife is not the enemy.  He or she should be our greatest ally.

Ariel and I may not agree on every issue at hand, but we agreed on resolving all conflicts!

We may not see eye to eye, but we can walk hand in hand.

2.   We can recover from losses in life, in time, if we are in the vine.

I have heard, read and encountered countless stories of marriages that resulted in divorce because of considerable loss:  loss of a loved one, loss of trust because of unfaithfulness, loss of something of value.  I attest, it is tough to lose someone you can never ever replace or something you can never recover!  It is devastating.  It is mind-altering.  It is awfully painful!

One night, at a party, after the [recent] death of our son, a friend asked me how I am doing.  I responded by saying,  “I don’t think I can recover from this loss.  The grief is overwhelming.  It is too painful.  It has seared my soul.  It has cut me to the core of my being.”  Then she said, “No, you will recover.”  At that time, I did not believe her. I thought, “You don’t know what you’re saying.  You don’t have any idea how much I’m hurting!”

They say time heals. No, Jesus only heals.  Time naturally, in its course, helps heal wounds.  But it is Jesus who makes us whole and complete and gives us the ability to run again.  It is not enough to heal, it is also important to get back on track.

We need to be always connected to the vine if we are to recover from any losses.  The daily outpouring of our deepest sorrow to Jesus is able to heal and transform us emotionally.  The daily expression of our trust and faith unto His loving arms, despite what happened, is able to grow us spiritually.  And only He is able to restore us completely.

Learning a lot from the pastors meeting while eating a killer white chocolate chip cookie that Shirley baked. Life is gooood!

GOOD BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH

2Chr. 24:1 Joash was seven years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem forty years. His mother’s name was Zibiah; she was from Beersheba.

2Chr. 24:2 Joash did what was right in the eyes of the LORD all the years of Jehoiada the priest.

Joash was a young boy when he started ruling over Judah that’s why he needed a mentor. He did a lot of reforms including the repair of the temple. He did what was right in the eyes of God as Jehoiada the priest instructed him. Joash did a lot that was good. But he did not go far enough. The high places were still there and the people continued to sacrifice to idols.

2Chr. 24:17 After the death of Jehoiada, the officials of Judah came and paid homage to the king, and he listened to them.

2Chr. 24:18 They abandoned the temple of the LORD, the God of their fathers, and worshiped Asherah poles and idols.

As long as Jehoiada was living, Joash served the Lord but when the priest died, Joash started to drift away and worship idols. He started listening to the advice of bad people. We must be careful to choose who we listen to for advice. We need to surround ourselves with godly men who will give us good counsel.

In the end, Joash was killed by his own officials who plotted against him.

2Chr. 24:25 When the Arameans withdrew, they left Joash severely wounded. His officials conspired against him for murdering the son of Jehoiada the priest, and they killed him in his bed. So he died and was buried in the City of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.

As leaders, we must have the tenacity to follow through. Its not how we start that’s more important but its how we finish the race. We cannot just ride on our past successes and stay in our status quo. Joash started something very noble and had great intentions. But in the end, his life was the total opposite of what he started. It was good (start) but not good enough (finish).

Meeting now with the Alabang pastors. I thank God for the privilege of working with this great team of godly men!

Strength of Our Home

As the whole world celebrated Father’s day yesterday, we the Marquez family did our share of celebrating. My sister Tin-Tin organized an impromptu dinner in Amarula (a new resto in Prez Ave. in BF) for the three Marquez dads – my dad, me and Bernard.

I want to thank God for my dad. People call him Tito Bert or “groovy” because he is. (I’m not sure if the young ones know the meaning of this word). His grandchildren (eight in all) love to play with him. Who would not want to play with a fun loving lolo?

He is one reliable and very resourceful. I realize that every time I need something — like having the car fixed or bringing my daughter to school when I’m not around, he would readily volunteer and meet the need.

He is not a rich business mogul but he has given us three siblings a good education and a good name. He would remind us as we were growing up to always protect the Marquez name. At 67, he still has an active lifestyle – bikes, plays golf, swims regularly, etc. He takes care of our mom especially after she underwent angioplasty. He is indeed the strength of our home. He is our model father.

Love you dad. Thanks for always being there for us!

Happy Father’s day to all dads!

Trying out how to use ping.fm. This social networking thing can be confusing. It’s time to simplify and consolidate.

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